It'll Never Show On Camera

Foreword TV Cameras

THIS collection is mostly true. Perhaps here and there I might be charged with an unwitting confounding of memory and desire. If so, some of the others who were there might remember parts a little differently and I've probably exaggerated a few things to highlight how we felt at the time, but it mostly happened this way.
I guess there are laws about including real people in stories so I've tinkered with the names of anyone I worked with. You know, the bit about any resemblance being strictly coincidental and all. And anyway, I won't tell you about guys like Captain Crazy or the salesmen who used to pose as the Flying Zamboni Family and cadge free drinks in bars until they'd get bounced for insulting hookers. Now and then I may have used the real names of people who wandered in and out of my career when it wasn't their fault. So if anybody I used to work with thinks they recognize themselves here, consider it coincidental. But, thanks. It was a good time.
Now, if I could only remember the name of the guy in that civil war TV show when our studio crew used to get blitzed every week trying to do the live beer commercials...

Contents

Camera 1 kid show

In which we learn how a boy in his formative years is lured into a life behind the TV cameras.

Androcles likes bananas.

On top of the world.

Get your pants on, here comes the boss.

The disk jockey who hated women's underwear.

What a turkey!

Captain Detroit.

Camera 2 comedians

In which our young hero is introduced to the strange customs and rituals practiced behind the TV cameras.

Don't worry, it'll never show on camera.

If I'm not there start without me!

Pour it again Sam.

Lawrence Welk was the best.

Just humor him.

Dots OK by me.

But he was a big tipper.

Season's greetings.

R2D2 and the nekked ladies.

Take my wife. Please.

Oh, how we laughed on the night we were wed.

Computers don't lie.

Camera 3 talk show

In which we discover many of the peculiar beings who inhabit the world behind the TV cameras.

Kids are a bad influence.

I'll have pepperoni and anchovies, but hold the latex.

Another close shave.

If a child answers, hang up.

Don't Monkey Around.

Hemorrhoids Can Be A Pain.

Demolition derby.

Getting Into Trouble With Gertie.

Our Founding Fathers.

Afterword several old timers

return to Foreword

jump to Order Form

Personal Photo Mosaics and PetPix in your home.
enjoy the White Trash Blues adventures of DP and Jolene

(Copyright 1987-2006: William S. Murray. All Rights Reserved. May not be reprinted without permission.)

(Photos: Murray Family Archives: copyright 1997; "How Sweet It Was": copyright Shorecrest, Inc. 1966.)