Camera 1

In which we learn how a boy in his formative years is lured into a life behind the TV cameras.

Androcles likes bananas.

On top of the world.

Get your pants on, here comes the boss.

The disk jockey who hated women's underwear.

What a turkey!

Captain Detroit.

Camera 2

In which our young hero is introduced to the strange customs and rituals practiced behind the TV cameras.

Don't worry, it'll never show on camera.

If I'm not there start without me!

Pour it again Sam.

Lawrence Welk was the best.

Just humor him.

Dots OK by me.

But he was a big tipper.

Season's greetings.

R2D2 and the nekked ladies.

Take my wife. Please.

Oh, how we laughed on the night we were wed.

Computers don't lie.

Camera 3

In which we discover many of the peculiar beings who inhabit the world behind the TV cameras.

Kids are a bad influence.

I'll have pepperoni and anchovies, but hold the latex.

Another close shave.

If a child answers, hang up.

Don't Monkey Around.

Hemorrhoids Can Be A Pain.

Demolition derby.

Getting Into Trouble With Gertie.

Our Founding Fathers.

Afterword.

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