It'll Never Show On Camera

Dot's OK By Me Lucy

HE was the first black guy any of us ever really worked with and I suppose I should remember his name. Until I do he'll have to be Donald.

It seemed natural to tease Donald in the same way you'd tease any rookie. Every business has its left handed monkey wrenches and sky hooks. There probably was a little element of daring, too, since he was sort of in our control and we weren't quite sure how to handle ourselves around black people. He may have had the same wonderment about us but I'm sure we never thought to ask if he was uncomfortable.

At first we all joined in the fun, sending him out for non existent stuff and chuckling at his bewilderment. TV stations use a lot of jargon anyway, so it was pretty easy if not especially creative. After a while we noticed that the Film Department was maybe overdoing it with Donald. It wasn't just that they sent him running around every day, but we began to notice that they were really getting on him when he didn't - couldn't - come back with the dumb things. It wasn't long before we decided they had gotten really mean to him.

One slow day we called him aside. One of the bullshit items they kept ragging him about getting was "cue dots" and we had decided to come in on Donald's side.

A cue dot is - or was then - simply a tiny hole punched into the upper right hand corner of a few frames of 16mm motion picture film. The idea was to make an unobtrusive flash in the corner of the screen for a fraction of a second about five seconds before the end of a scene and again with one second left.
This was to warn the master control room technician to put down his Daily Racing Form and prepare to start up another film - with luck, a commercial - and to stop the projector that had been showing the program or feature movie.

Some stations used a hand punch, like a bus driver used to use on transfers. This was seldom very accurate in getting the corner of the frame and not all stations who took turns showing the movie used the same five second / one second pattern. Viewers were often treated to a minor blizzard just before most station breaks in any show that had been around a while. Cue dots aren't used much anymore.

But either way a cue dot was nothing but a hole.
WE told Donald that he was being had and we were going to help. We also told him to come back to the Film guys later that day with a story that he had finally located the cue dots but that they were back ordered so he didn't yet have them in hand. He had no idea what was going on but was eager to turn the tables.

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A week later the invoice for the cue dots arrived. Anything over $25 at that station had to be approved by your boss - in advance. $100 items were approved by God and He always said No.

It might have come a little sooner but our Art Director wanted it just right: Flimsy yellow paper with a bent staple in the corner. A little scruffy from handling by several layers of anonymous clerks and drivers. A touch of carbon smudge. "Five pounds of cue dots for 16mm film." "Delivery ASAP." "$827.50" "Non Refundable Item."

Maybe we could have taken the gag farther if we hadn't clued in their boss, the Production Manager. He didn't like the Film Department much anyway and wasn't pleased that they reported to him. He did a hell of a job in introducing the invoice to them with a titanic desk whacking display. It might have been even more fun if his anger had been more genuine than the invoice. It might have been more dangerous, too, since he was also our boss. Either way it was pretty good. "...and I want a goddamned explanation before you even try to go home tonight!"

For these rest of the afternoon they kept sidling up to everyone on the Production staff who all knew the whole story by then. They would start conversations like: "So. Cue Dots. Ever buy any?" And were getting answers like "Buy them!? Why bother to buy them when you can just punch them out? And besides, they're pretty expensive. I think they're still made by hand, aren't they?"
ONCE in a while I'll still notice a little flurry up in the corner of the screen just before a station break on some old movie channel and wonder whether they make their own cue dots or if they send out for them.

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(Copyright 1987-2004: William S. Murray. All Rights Reserved. May not be reprinted without permission.)