Episode 11
FADE IN
The town is abuzz. It seems that a dream submitted to Shvoo’s column may actually be coming true.
A few months ago she printed a reverie sent in by one “C. Heavy” wherein he (presumably a “he”) obsessed about “a mighty big box” that had become a recurring theme for him. Shvoo, the dreamer who wrote in, as well as many of her readers had speculated endlessly over their bar dice games about the symbolism that might be represented in the dream. Many angry Post-It notes (and not a few explicit and often correctly spelled epistles) were posted on the Trading Times bulletin board at the Speedi-Mart suggesting that there were sexual overtones to be inferred in this topic. Or possibly just a cardboard box fetish.
angry reactions to the column
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Eventually, as with most imagination-driven obsessions, the furor passed and the town moved to new and seemingly endless arguments and fascinations.
But now, perhaps, comes fulfillment! A Wal-Mart “big box” store has opened a few miles outside of town. Jolene is worried that this may eventually impact her earnings at the Speedi-Mart and she is already concerned that the trailer’s LPG tanks are so perilously low that they can no longer light their cigarettes from the stove.
She has cajoled DP into applying for an open position in the Tire Shop at the giant store. He borrows her pickup and heads for the site, carefully avoiding parking in the Wal-Mart manager or security guard’s sight lines.
the big box?
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Of course DP has no intention of actually applying for the job. His “bad back” has prevented him from any meaningful employment since, well, ever. The condition dates back to his time with Radish on their high school swim team. A bad accident involving the pool skimmer suction hose was the direct cause although the school coaching staff and administration, out of acute embarrassment, concocted a story involving a back flip from the high board. DP always liked that one better, too.
He runs into the former school nurse in town from time to time and finds it difficult to make conversation.
the site of DP's "accident"
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Radish also has a checkered job history, but he, at least, has actually had a job. Ever since the afternoon he and his truck and the backhoe he was learning to operate created some untidiness at the Nonna Bowl parking lot expansion, Radish has had many extra hours available to spend with DP. Or, increasingly, with Mona and, now and then, at Shvoo’s doublewide.
Radish "improves" the Nonna Bowl parking lot
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Radish did have one other job, at least for a while. His life’s ambition has been to get a UV tattoo that only appears under black light. His idea is to have it say something rudely sexy and that no one would know he has the image until he reveals it to a woman he has lured to his house. The tattoo, of course, would be on or near a body part appropriate to the motto that is brought to light during the surprise.
To obtain the invisible picture for little or no money, he got a job at the NY Guy Tattoo Parlor soon after being rejected by the U. S. Marines. He was fired after three consecutive complaints about his spelling. It is likely that there were far more instances that simply went unnoticed by his customers.
where Radish had his spelling mishaps
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As we join them, Jolene has just called DP at the pay phone outside Radish’s house with disturbing news about a visit from the cable company’s security department regarding their illegal converter box.
MUSIC UP
