Episode 14
FADE IN
When we left DP, wearing his only mullet and Jolene’s thong, he just had trapped himself in Nerdy’s trailer with her alluring and minimally overweight teenage daughter Little Boo. Meanwhile, just beyond the thicket of brush a hundred yards away, there was a grand convergence of opposing forces at his own trailer in the generally agitated persons of Jolene, Mona, Nonna, Maf, Shvoo, Nerdy, Sonny and Red.
As DP is contemplating his own immediate fate and simultaneously weighing the intriguing invitation of his previously unknown admirer, fetchingly clad in her best polyester kimono, the phone rings.
On the line is Mac, proprietress of Mac’s Snack Shoppe and Vacation Planning, Inc. As a sideline to her two main lines of business, Mac has lately been offering private tutoring in language skills, a service for which there is a dire need throughout the town. “English As A First Language - 101” has quickly become her most popular class.
one-stop snacks, travel and linguistics
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Mac is calling to remind Nerdy of their next session now that Mac has returned from her recent trip to DollyWood.
Mac knows how to have a good time!
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Little Boo says she will pass along the reminder to her mother.
The ringing of the phone startles DP back to the reality of his situation. As he would later tell Radish, “Well, she looked sixteen.” Then, unexpectedly, Little Boo happens onto a way for DP to escape from Nerdy’s trailer before her return and without trekking back through the brush the way he came.
Little Boo remembers that she, too, has an appointment and must leave immediately. Although Nerdy has the truck – she must always be on call in case of an emergency collection – she has left behind her newest vehicle, acquired as an attempt to save her economy funeral business now that there is powerful new competition in town.
Nerdy upgrades her service
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Little Boo offers to give DP a ride and suggests that he hide out in the sidecar until the troubled throng has left his own trailer. After her appointment, she will drop him back there and perhaps stay around for a while to watch Family Bonds on HBO. (Somebody’s got to.)
DP, out of desperation, agrees and hunkers down for the ride over to Little Boo’s session at the Mindfire Tanning Salon, home of the newest in solar-powered tanning beds.
a new dimension in tanning
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The short trip across town takes them past restaurant row where DP and Jolene are, of course, well known to everybody.
Then, just as they are passing Mamie Rey’s TipTop Tavern, the sidecar blows a tire. “Heckfire!” exclaims Little Boo. “This here is bound tuh make me late fer my seshun. Oh, shee-ut. An’ this thang don’t carry no spare, neither.”
a non-optimal spot for a blow-out
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As we move in for an extreme close-up on DP’s horrified eyes and scrutinize his terror-stricken countenance, the music swells to a staccato urgency.
UPSETTING MUSIC UP
