Episode 15
FADE IN
DP, clad only in his mullet and one of Jolene’s thongs is hiding in the sidecar of a droll motorcycle hearse belonging to Nerdy’s Economy Burials and driven by her under-age teeny-bopper daughter and DP admirer Little Boo. The cycle has blown a tire on the way to Boo’s appointment at Mac’s Snack Shoppe and Grammar Lessons.
They are now stuck in front of Mamie Rey’s TipTop Tavern, where DP and Jolene are well-known. The TipTop is next door to NY Guy’s Bowl-a-mat and Car Wash, which DP is avoiding due to a municipal licensing dispute into which he, as is his wont, has unwittingly become enmeshed.
the Bowlamat offers yet another new service
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It is business as usual at the Bowl-a-mat, which means that both of the dilapidated dryers are out of service in the laundry nook of this multi-faceted establishment. As a result the clothesline alongside the building is in use to handle the drying needs of the customers who are biding their time in the beer garden section. The proprietor disputes that this situation might indeed be a business strategy and claims instead that it is simply a result of a reduced maintenance budget.
As Little Boo, still fetchingly semi-clad in her polyester kimono, attempts to hitch a ride to Mac’s, DP sees an opportunity to make his escape. There, hanging on the Bowl-a-mat’s clothesline not twenty yards away, is a motley medley of slightly damp clothing. And the owners of the garments are all happily ensconced in the Bowl-a-mat bar. DP makes his move.
Scrambling from the somber sidecar, he darts across the gravel parking area. Attempting to disregard his instant discovery that he is barefoot, DP hastily limps behind the clothesline. Believing that he is now out of sight of passers-by and also hidden from the unconcerned and unaware owners of the clothes, he looks for something appropriate to “borrow”. He is dismayed to find that evidently all of today’s laundry patrons are female.
DP's fetching choices
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Pulling on the least flagrant muumuu he sees on the line, DP decides to make his way crosslots through the woods and hopes to walk the two miles to his trailer without being spotted. Perhaps along the way an unwatched back porch will yield some temporary footwear.
DP & Radish always pick Hondo® shoes
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As DP passes between the buildings, the proprietor of that jumble of commerce known as the Bowl-a-mat sees him through the torn screen of the rear entrance. Unbeknownst to DP, NY Guy has been on the alert lately because of his irrational belief that Little Boo’s mother Nerdy has been stalking him.
With NY Guy long overdue for a visit with his optometrist and still wearing his duct-taped gray-tinted Erik Estrada-style glasses from 1972, the combination of the mullet and the muumuu makes DP look disturbingly like Nerdy to him. He reaches for his Veep® model scattergun and charges out the screen door.
WTB® Sporting Goods - for the discriminating mulletman
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As shouts and angry outcries reach a fever pitch and the frantic blurred images artistically produced by the handheld camera running behind DP and NY Guy make us slightly nauseous, swelling music drowns out the actual words, leaving us to wonder.
MUSIC UP - FORTISSIMO
