Episode 19
FADE IN
Radish and DP are on a road trip to Chicago, their first visit to that faraway and fabled metropolis of sin, energy and excitement, where Radish is to appear on the Jerry Springer TV show for a paternity test involving Roxy’s young child Omny.
he does sort of look familiar
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For the moment they have left behind the everyday cares of their hometown and have temporarily cast aside the constant progression and bewilderment of unfolding relationships there.
the "Windy City"
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They have carefully stocked Radish’s International with the expedition essentials: a case of oil for the truck; the nylons and chocolate bars they understand to be necessary to win over any locals they might encounter; a box of ribbed condoms in the event the nylons and chocolate are effective; a generous supply of Oreos and NoDoz plus a Styrofoam cooler of Colt 45 and Red Bull to sustain them on the long, dull stretches of two-lane they expect to encounter during the pilgrimage.
getting everything ready for the road
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Out of touch for a few days, the two comrades will have no knowledge of Shvoo’s possible redirection of affections from DP over to NY Guy; or the budding closeness that may be a direct consequence of Thad’s hands-on rescue of Mamie from the Bowl-a-mat pool; or the explanation for Jolene’s recent spells of morning illness; or the police investigation into the theft of a muumuu from the clothesline behind the Bowl-a-mat; or even the big party to introduce a new wild game menu at Maf’s.
Maf's tasty new menu items
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Although they call home once or twice, the pay phone near Radish’s back porch will go unanswered by Mona, a circumstance to which, for now, they attach no particular significance.
"at the beep please leave a message"
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Finally arriving at what they believe to be the outskirts of the big city, DP and Radish decide to celebrate with a drink and a meal at one of the famous restaurants they have heard so much about on the Galloping Gourmet. Their first choice is a family-run business presided over by three gruff, solidly built and obviously related women. The Chicago Snack Shop and Liquor Store offers breakfast all day long plus a semi-delicious selection of shrink-wrapped sandwiches, inexpensive shots and an ample assortment of domestic beer.
one of the (almost) famous Chicago eateries
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Once inside the dimly lit establishment they quickly begin luxuriating in the Pall Mall and Winston-fueled miasma. They are surprised to find how quickly they feel almost at home. The talk at the bar is of newcomers who refuse to speak Murican and which beers taste great versus those that are less filling and the merits of the Ford F-150 tranny over the Dodge Ram and whether supporting our troops is the same thing as supporting the war. Three of the five tables are already filled with regular customers and a game of euchre is loudly underway.
It is only after asking for directions to the TV studio, as well as to the nearest motel with a brightly colored plastic roof that powerfully proclaims its proximity to the soothing sounds of semi-trucks backing down, that our road-weary protagonists discover that they are really in one of Chicago’s bucolic ‘burbs and not yet in the city itself. The enormous and stately towers that had seemed so close are actually a few miles distant.
one of the (almost) famous Chicago hotels
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They decide to bed down nearby and over a half dozen Colt 45’s make a pact that they will return to this same paragon of local cuisine for breakfast. They are excited that they will be able to tell everyone back home that they did, in fact, visit one or more of the celebrated Chicago theme restaurants on this trip of a lifetime.
The next morning, after DP fulfills his promise to his friend and fills the sample cup for Radish in the Snack Shop restroom, they depart for his date with destiny. About a half-hour later, having at last been forced to shift from the familiar two-lane over to the disturbingly unforgiving expressways of the megalopolis, they successfully navigate the final five miles along the obscure trail to the Springer show studio.
trying to find the way to the Springer Show
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A short while later as they pull up in front of the TV station they are wondering exactly where to go and are uncertain whether anyone at the show will truly be expecting them.
"But, do you think they'll know we're coming?"
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When the crowd assembled out front recognizes Radish, bedlam breaks out. The surging throng pushes past the official welcoming party of Katie and Al and Jerry and surrounds the truck. It is only through the intervention of several burly security officers that Radish is able to exit his sturdy vehicle and he is immediately whisked indoors. DP, ignored by the multitude, is left to fend for himself. Realizing that he has no chance to make it through the fevered mob to rejoin Radish, he makes his way around to the side of the giant studio complex looking for another way in.
Slipping past the lone police car, he enters the building unseen and steps through the TV studio door where he is warmly greeted.
"Maybe this is the way into the Springer Show."
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APPLAUSE UP
THEME MUSIC UP
